In the wee hours of April 4, 1981, twin boys were born to the ancient and venerable House of Iamunno. The elder, an ill-tempered whelp, they named Anthony. The younger child they named Jerry, and in the days after his birth, baby Jerry was a constant source of cherubic delight to his family. But the Iamunno’s bliss would not last long. A down-and-out disco producer, hoping to return the music he loved to prominence, resolved to abduct and hold a child for ransom until America agreed to buy disco albums again. As poorly conceived as his plan may have been, the reckless record producer nevertheless succeeded in acquiring his bargaining chip on a stormy night in late September.

After entering the Iamunno household, the kidnapper stole into the twins’ nursery. Rejecting the hairy, misshapen older boy outright, the thief chose instead to take handsome baby Jerry. With his prize tucked securely away in a back-pack, the Disco-Thief made good his escape, far from the boy’s family, to the wilds of Upstate New York. But fate was against the kidnapper and one night, while camped near the town of Ithaca, NY, a she-bear, recently bereft of her own offspring, stole baby Jerry from the campsite while the thief slept. The she-bear cared for the boy as though he was her own cub, but she knew, deep in her she-bear heart, that the boy would never be a real bear, and that he must return to his own people. And so, the kind she-bear left the baby at the door-step of a young Ithacan couple named Golden. Unaware of his parentage, the Golden’s named the boy Jeff, and they raised him as lovingly as though he were their own.

Almost twenty years later, Jeff went to college. Like many other college students, he foolishly imbibed liberal quantities of cheap booze and wine. One night, while staring at the bottom of a Carlo Rossi jug, a besotted Jeff decided that he’d probably feel a whole lot less miserable if he drank a higher quality product. Thus began his love affair with fine wine. Four years of study, and a degree in history later, he had two choices: graduate school or gainful employment.

Jeff went to Boston for graduate school, because apparently that’s where everyone goes for graduate school. Desperate to pay his bills, Jeff put his love of wine to good use and got a job selling vino at a big, discount liquor store. He then got a job with a wholesaler, selling wine in between trips to the library. One fateful day in 2008, Jeff walked in to downTown to sell Davis’ favorite shop some of his wines. He was immediately convinced that it was the most vibrant and likeable shop he’d ever been in, and so he decided to give up his research and give his life to wine. He’s been at downTown ever since selling wine to anyone patient enough to listen to him. Stop by some time and ask him about wine: just don’t call him Jerry. As it turns out, Anthony Iamunno also ended up with a job at downTown, and he maintains that he never had a brother.